DANCING WITH THE MOONLIT KNIGHT
There I was, in the arms of a medieval knight, spinning and twirling in the moonlight. He was in full metal gear of course and although faceless through his impenetrable visor, I knew he wanted to be with me more than life itself. The rapture of the cool air against my skin, the music echoing every note through my body and the moon shining on me as we danced, all meant to me that I was loved. I was loved by him, I was loved by the moon and the air. I felt that my body even loved me. I was loved by life. Gratitude and joy enveloped me as I surrendered into bliss.
This is not the beginning of a romance novel, although it’s not a bad start of one. It was me, dancing in my underwear, with music playing on the stereo, completely enraptured in my imagination. The moonlit knight saved my life. I didn’t realize it at the time but feeling loved, (even imaginary love), released me from pain and healed even the most wounded parts of me. Like many of us, I have had a tough childhood. We all have primal childhood wounds. Some are more intense than others, but everyone has them. Our wounds are one way we develop our identity, who we want to be and who we don’t want to be.
When we are unable to heal ourselves from these primal wounds we are unable to feel when others appreciate and care for us. From time to time we have glimpses of this beautiful emotion, from a lover, from a child, but joy in our everyday lives isn’t there because we feel as though we don’t deserve it and we shut this affection down quickly. In extreme cases of this inability of feel love, people commit suicide. They truly believe that life would be better off without them. Even if those around them are deeply devoted and caring, they don’t feel it. The less severe aspect of these wounds, but still profound, show up in those of us that can’t ask for help, those of us that can give love but have a difficult time accepting it. Unfortunately, as women, that’s so many of us.
It’s never too late to heal ourselves. Dancing with the moonlit knight is one way. In my twenties this was the beginning of my spiritual journey, but there are other ways to feel loved. Remembering how your child or a lover looked at you, writing a list of what you love about yourself, or focusing on what you are grateful for, are all paths to happiness.
Since Mother’s Day is upon us a great way to let joy into our lives is by letting ourselves feel the caring and appreciation that we normally discount. That also means asking for help when we need it. If all else fails, dance around the house in your underwear, with the music on, when no one is home.
You can also close your eyes and let your body sway in the chair. In your mind’s eye, see your family, your friends and lovers all around you. Have them, in your imagination, feeling gratitude and love for your existence. Just relax and let the joy soak in. Then, there is always the moonlit knight, holding you in his arms as he dances and twirls you into happiness.
For this Mother’s Day, let’s allow ourselves to be who we are, wives, mothers, friends and lovers who deserve to be loved.
If you have any questions or you want to talk about any aspect of life and love you can write me at pamlatour55@gmail.com. I am a hypnotherapist and a Medium with a Ph.D. in Paranormal Psychology and am available for private sessions.
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